Hilarious Homophones/graphs

Depending upon how the future unfurls, we might make the move to the big, buzzing metropolis a 100 miles away...In the meanwhile, even as the First Mate has decided to cross the bridge when we come to it, the obsessive-compulsive yours truly has already begun an anxious research of the city's safe neighborhoods, the best school districts, homes and condos for sale, their proximity to the office/university, pediatricians and GPs in the area, public transport, conveniences available, and so on.

 

Did I mention that all this is being done without any concrete decisions having been made? Well, I say what is a man (or woman, in my case) without a dream? This city dweller is ready to move back into her natural habitat.

 

Some funny moments have popped up thanks to google. A query such as - "Which _______ neighborhoods are saturated with desis?" is met with numerous responses - "Which _______ neighborhoods are saturated with disease?" HAHAHAHA

 

I must say google is not very far from the truth.

 

Here's another cross-cultural homophone/graph I heard long ago on London's desi radio. The DJ went - "Coming up, it's 'Kholee kay peek'" He meant 'Choli ke peeche' (pronounced 'chcholee kay peechey', and meaning 'behind one's blouse'...yes, a rather unsubtle sexual innuendo, in true Bollywood style). Again, even with a mispronounced song title, the DJ did send the message home.

 

How to Get in Touch With Your Feminine Side...Indian Style

My husband brought each of our sons a lungi as a gift from Madras (yes, I am one of those old fogies who still refers to Singara Chennai by its older - and more fitting - name). The First Mate is one of those Dekkani Muslim men who prefers a lungi to the pyjama kurta (that my father favors). Something about a pursuing a 'sense of freedom' and allowing air to freely circulate, he says. Well, each to his own.

I suspect (and know!) there are other conveniences that accompany the wearing of a lungi, but those need not be dwelt on right away. As long as one exercizes a moderate amount of imagination, one may no doubt divine these lungi-bound perks...

Tamizh Superstar Vikram whose well aired ... are well covered by his gold bordered lungi

So, the Singapore Singaran - who, as an infant, was once indifferent to his father's sleepwear, and  has now become very curious about it - was delighted to have a lungi of his own! It is patterned in a merry green and blue plaid, perfect for a young man of 8...a pattern known to the world as 'Madras checks' - as we discovered, when we were given a carpet swatch by a representative of Empire Carpets.

 

How did we describe the design in Madras itself? Simply, as 'checks', or by the less popular 'tartan'. Actually, if you mentioned 'tartan', the shopkeeper would probably have mistaken it as 'tartar' and maintained a respectful distance...Not that anybody could identify the tartans themselves in the 1980s and 90s...or today, for that matter. After all, Madras back then was just good old, laid-back Madras - plain calm, and cool, where nobody got worked up about the accuracy of names. They dealt with it by just getting creative and churning out more checked patterns.

Madras Madness

But to return to our son's absolute thrill in teasing his lungi from its snug plastic wrap...He was ready for it, we could tell. Of course, he wore it with a t-shirt, and we wrapped it around him, making a pleat and folding over the top twice so it wouldn't come undone (very important, that). Once outfitted thus, our Singapore Singaran was joy incarnate! He jumped from bed to bed and finally skipped down the corridor to look at himself in the mirror. His first words? "NOW I know what it feels like to be a girl!" LOL

 

He is such a darling.