Invest in Yourself!

 

Mark Twain cautioned, "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."

 

How true. Let me add that small people also constantly find fault with, pick on, and criticize the talents, ideas, way of life, etc., of others. Very good advice from Mark Twain, especially when applied with regard to one's in-laws (and husband even, sometimes), not to mention extended family, 'well-meaning friends' from your religious/cultural community, and so on...

Heaney

Just read that Seamus Heaney has walked on today - August 30 2013. 

'Digging' was the first poem of his that I read as a student of English Literature, in India...I like the first 2 lines :) - neither for their reference to a contained power, nor for their sexual suggestion, but more for Heaney's grudging and sweet admission of his distance from the 'earth-bound', macho, physically demanding labor of his father, grandfather (and their ancestors as well, probably), while he sits in a room above, his hands unsullied by dirt, with sheets of paper and a pen for a toolkit.

Many years later, Heaney went on to receive the Nobel prize, thus proving he was no less skilled...He also didn't hesitate to get his hands dirty, speaking up about global politics during the 1990s and 2000s...

 

 

DIGGING

Between my finger and my thumb   

The squat pen rests; snug as a gun.

Under my window, a clean rasping sound   

When the spade sinks into gravelly ground:   
My father, digging. I look down

Till his straining rump among the flowerbeds   

Bends low, comes up twenty years away   
Stooping in rhythm through potato drills   
Where he was digging.

The coarse boot nestled on the lug, the shaft   

Against the inside knee was levered firmly.
He rooted out tall tops, buried the bright edge deep
To scatter new potatoes that we picked,
Loving their cool hardness in our hands.

By God, the old man could handle a spade.   

Just like his old man.

My grandfather cut more turf in a day

Than any other man on Toner’s bog.
Once I carried him milk in a bottle
Corked sloppily with paper. He straightened up
To drink it, then fell to right away
Nicking and slicing neatly, heaving sods
Over his shoulder, going down and down
For the good turf. Digging.

The cold smell of potato mould, the squelch and slap

Of soggy peat, the curt cuts of an edge
Through living roots awaken in my head.
But I’ve no spade to follow men like them.

Between my finger and my thumb

The squat pen rests.
I’ll dig with it.

- Seamus Heaney, 1966 (from 'Death of a Naturalist')

Keeping Calm and Carrying On!

While applying for jobs these days, I simply click on the 'Apply' button and submit my resume. I have stopped bothering to add a cover letter, unless it's for a teaching post...in which case I also submit my teaching Resume, Statement of Teaching Philosophy, Evaluation of Teaching stats, Syllabi (taught so far), copies of my transcripts, and full recommendation letters. I'm hoping I'll get a lecturing break, but it appears there are always more qualified candidates (with PhDs and with more industry experience! I hate them all).

 

Surprisingly and ironically, I have had more responses for interviews from companies to which I submitted my resume only...contrary to the advice one hears that job applications must be accompanied by cover letters "or they will be thrown into the reject pile!". Guess what, they do call if and when they need you.

If they don't, then I just do a jig to the tune of James Brown's 'I Feel Good':
"I feel good (I knew that I would)
 I feeeel good (I knew that I would)
 So good!
 So good!
 I dumped you!"

 

I think the cover letter stipulation applies only for mid/senior positions, and when you know the party interviewing you. In that case, the interview itself might be a sham, but you want to do it right anyway. Like a formal marriage reception when the union has already been blessed at the registrar's or elsewhere (I don't mean in bed).

 

My husband is amused by my cover letters. As I've pointed out, it wouldn't matter if they were just one-liners in his case - they would just be one step in the formality.

 

How do I deal with the depressing job search? By being optimistic, reminding myself of my own positive points, looking at the positives in my life, enjoying the summer with my sons, reading, cooking, and doing all those Sisyphyian tasks that all mothers do (the laundry, cleaning, the dishes, and so on and so forth...it never ends, but it helps one forget the anxiety of uncertainty through the sheer dint of physical exertion).

 

You know, one reads about how people waste away while pining for something...not in my case. Did I mention I sometimes go into a storm of cooking? I also eat with a vengeance (mostly desserts) to deal with the stress. It's no wonder I'm not losing weight!

 

It always helps to have a good book by one's side. Especially if it's romantic - well, not the kind of romance between couples but more a sort of awakening, an appreciation of sensuality...in the way one appreciates a beautiful day. I find I invariably end up in the Literature section of the library, despite having visited the place for something more prosaic!

 

My happiest hours have been spent on the couch, curled up with a book...with the happy sounds of my sons playing in the background, or with the younger one flopped fast asleep on my stomach while the older one was busy with craftwork (or his Transformers, dinosaurs, Legos, or whatever else!)...the afternoon light slanting into our living room, the rippling shadows of leaves on our carpet, the birds in the our garden, and the whirr of insects...a very humdrum domestic scene, I agree, but for me, one of infinite patience and joy.

I feel quite helpless in my job search, and the feeling of not having control makes me angry. I think of my mother who was already flying high by her late-30s. She was a V.I.P. bureaucrat, a first-class executive, mother of 2 daughters who could provide them with the best education, a privileged life, full-time housekeeper and guards...she could do a lot for her children because she was powerful enough to do so.

I keep reminding myself that my life is different, but the helplessness at not being able to give my sons the best eats away at me.

I want to keep enjoying the summers with my children, and I hope I get just the job that fits in with my lifestyle, life philosophy, personality, and work-family goals...and of course, the right income (how could I forget?!?).

Facebook = Wastebook

Why is Facebook a waste of time?

 

Well, time is money.

 

Time spent on Facebook is unproductive.

 

Therefore, Facebook is a waste of time.

This post on Facebook would also be a waste of time and space if it were not for the need to point out 'why', etc, etc.

 

I was under the impression that life-changing news (e.g. - a baby, graduation, a first home, marriage, a grim diagnosis, loss of a loved one...) was to be shared with a group of well-wishers who would in turn take the trouble to send a card/ call/ email you, at the very least? I thought great news called for more than a cursory comment or 'like'. I mean, if they really cared and had access to email (everyone does nowadays...I hope!), then getting the message across shouldn't be a problem.

 

As for FB 'likes' and comments, people say that this is how the 20-somethings communicate - only short, abbreviated messages. Ok, point noted. What about the 30 and above crowd that is also active on FB? Does this mean their communicative abilities have regressed?

 

Here's FB's value differentiator - sharing photos...especially if one lived away from one's family. But again, there's also Picasa and Flickr, with options for making comments! Yes, I am aware that FB made some changes thanks to which you can control who sees what...still, if person B 'liked' your pic, that update could be clicked on and viewed by person C who could be a total stranger to person A. I am frankly surprised that such loopholes exist despite FB's birth in the early 2000's.

I thought FB's strong point - more than photo sharing - might have been its ability to conjure flash mobs. How useful during a revolution, a sales event, or just to make a point! Of course, only if FB were allowed during such times/ in those countries, provided one had internet access. 

 

As regards everything else...the world has become so well connected that one doesn't need FB to communicate. If you really want a good chat, nothing beats the phone (use calling cards or get a vonage connection), Skype, Whatsapp, etc.

 

So what IS FB's vision then? What it always was meant to be - a kind of club where all members imagine their online networks to be exclusive, special, genuine, and so on...and thus get a high from attracting attention. Successful attention-seeking has become the hallmark of feeling like you belong, replacing the real world, actual value of one's social influence...perfect for for kids who prefer to play online instead of making direct facial contact, while finishing assignments and projects...and to make a point about who's connected with whom (ever read comments like "I'm going to call you this w/e!", "Looking forward to our picnic at xyz"...?). Exhibitionism and exclusion at its social best.

FB is also a great place to snoop around, stalk others, collect information, and...gossip. From what I have observed, NOBODY is above this - self-appointed guardians of any faith, moderates, or radicals of any country alike. Believe me when I say this, social bullies do very well on FB. Female bullies in particular.

 

Sure, we can argue about literary fiction as also being a kind of virtual world....albeit a very lonesome one, because the reader has only fictional characters for company. Well, guess what - with literary fiction or non-fiction, one is gleaning some kind of self-knowledge and developing one's insightfulness. Some fiction is positively chockfull of information brilliantly written (Amitav Ghosh's novels, for instance).

 

With FB, one is deluding oneself by equating the traffic of online connections as actual friendships. What do you learn from them? Well, apart from who is cozying up to whom (and even that can be faked online), as proven by a German study it was heartache, jealousy, upset emotions very unlike those exhibited online. Let's face it, not everyone is one's well wisher. Which brings one to the question - how does one define a friend? Does the 'friend' need to know certain details about your life?

 

Thus I explained my decision to quit FB in Dec 2011, to a bunch of Indian and Pakistani women who could only look at my decision to quit as 'escapism' - can you believe this?? Other wise observations they made were "OMG what brought this on??", "It's only a social network!!", and the stellar "You have gone into hiding!". 

Apparently, chucking online social networking is done only by insecure and touchy folk. Ok, I AM touchy, but that's because I want something genuine and I am willing to take a stand about it. Besides, if I had something to hide wouldn't I be touching up my online life, living a sham?

 

This, from women who get their sense of self from the number of responses to their humdrum, mind numbing, immature attempts at self-promotion. Yawn. I can hear an old friend of mine - who recently moved back to India - state, "You are looking for depth in the wrong place".

A short while after having been subjected to this ridiculous round of queries, I read this news report about how people are leaving FB in droves..."FB is SO 2010!"...or so one of the quotes went. FB was a fad, and now it is old hat.

Immigration and Planting Roots. Quote from Ha Jin's 'A Free Life'

Ha Jin has been one of my favorite writers, ever since I read his 'Waiting' back in 2000, when we were living in Singapore. I have read all his novels since then and own most of them (which is to say, not many...of the 6 that he has written).

 

He has the talent to hold the attention of the reader. I find that when I begin any one of his novels, I simply can't put it down. I can't function normally and become a couch potato, with my nose buried in his novel, procrastinating all my chores - be it doing the laundry (that never ending job!) or worse, playing hooky with my sons' summer classes.

 

I am not too fond of his poetry. His prose is certainly eloquent, perhaps more so because he weaves in Chinese idioms for illustration - especially in 'Waiting' and 'The Bridegroom and Other Stories'.

'A Free Life' begins well and seems consciously fictional. It moves into a semi-autobiographical documentary in the latter half, recording the humdrum details of the Wu's life in Georgia, and Nan's epiphanies about himself and his purpose. Still, a good read. Perhaps not brilliant fiction, but certainly an honest depiction of the lives of immigrants in America.

 

What draws me to Ha Jin is his undebatable, firm bottomline - haha, not what you're thinking - but his conviction to write honestly, and to live authentically. That's rare and kinda sweet.

 

Many a time, I've thought about Ha Jin as a kindred soul...or as one of his characters hears himself described - "A lone wolf." and "A real individual." These words are actually thrown as insults at the character, but he heartily claims them without defending or apologizing for his beliefs. Like them, I give a damn for the opinions of the herd too.

 

To be honest, this is pretty much the definition of most lovers of Literature, and very true of most writers. They live authentically and unapologetically. Not for them the glory of mass adulation arising from some superficiality or political games - even at the social level. This often results in them being misunderstood because they think ahead of their times. Well, they push change. Good for them.

Here is the passage from Ha Jin's recent book ('A Free Life', 2007) that struck a chord in me...The issue he ponders is not the challenge of being an immigrant but the question of switching one's loyalty to the adopted country. The US passport is a sublime vista hankered after by many immigrants who sell their souls without a second thought, for material gains. The question here is whether or not they will be true to their adopted country, and the authenticity of their oath.

 

Ha Jin puts it very well:

 

"Nan hadn't applied for the citizenship with a light heart...His home and livelihood were here. The previous spring, he had read an article by Yong Chu, the old poet teaching Chinese at a college in Rhode Island...In his article "Why I Don't Want to Be an American Citizen", Mr. Chu wrote candidly that he was unsure which side he would take if the United States went to war with China. The citizenship would require him to be willing to bear arms to defend the U.S. Constitution and fight any foreign enemy...Chu stated that his heart wouldn't allow him to side against his motherland and that he wanted to live honestly, so he wouldn't get naturalized. Now Nan wasn't certain which side he'd take if a war broke out between China and the United States. This uncertainty tormented him, but he also knew that once he swore his allegiance at the oath ceremony, he'd have to abide by his word. To him, a promise should weigh more than a country."

 

Now here's the part that I love haha -

 

"He thought of a pair of metaphors, comparing China to his mother and the United States to the woman he loved. He was sure that someone else had used this trite analogy before; nonetheless, it helped him sort out his emotions. As a grown man he couldn't live with his mother and must choose to join the woman of his heart. Certainly he wouldn't taunt or beat his mother if there was a fight between the old lady and his beloved. All he could do was help them understand each other even though they might never see eye to eye."

 

Ha Jin is like an old friend who pops up to remind me of my life's path. Here is a poem he ends 'A Free Life' with...It's called 'Another Country', and captures the creative process (mostly of writing and philosophy, I believe...but could also be applied to creating any kind of art...):

 

Another Country

 

You must go to a country without borders,

where you can build your home

out of garlands of words,

where broad leaves shade familiar faces

that no longer change in wind and rain.

There's no morning or evening,

no cries of joy or pain;

every canyon is drenched in the light of serenity.

 

You must go there, quietly.

Leave behind what you still cherish.

Once you enter that domain,

a path of flowers will open before your feet.

 

I might just go away to the Iowa Writer's Workshop and consider how I might harness my emotions and thoughts that fall about like drunken men...

Oh, the Places You'll Go! Post the MBA...

"Oh, the Places You'll Go!"

 

Apart from being the title of a very well-known Dr. Seuss book, this is also a line that MBA school admissions/career services/fellow students will feed you relentlessly.

 

In their conviction,

            assumption,

            expectation,

            delusion,

            and desperation.

 

When the one ceases to postulate, the other will begin, hoping to prod the Pygmalion effect into being.

 

And so one is transported through 24 or 19 or 12 months of the program, international business environment trips included.

 

That said, the MBA experience is indeed:

 

1. Transformative. An MBA is an immensely useful degree. You will be introduced to a variety of very practical subjects - finance, accounts, people development, strategy, entrepreneurship, cross cultural communications, marketing, operations, etc. This part of the MBA is truly worth it, especially if the courses are taught by inspiring and competent Professors. If you are open to learning from fellow students, you will certainly become more grounded and realistic. You will want to work in a capacity that will be of some practical use to someone.

You will be excited and energized...and even if you are not, you will catch the same from your classmates because both sensations would be truly infectious. In a manner of speaking, an MBA is a great form of therapy...for those who can afford it :)!

I mean it - even if you want to butt heads with several 'enemies' in your class who will intensely annoy you with their conceit, self-centeredness, self-importance, exceptional arse-licking skills, and plain myopia - you will realize the lesson that is to be gleaned from this socio-politics.

 

2. Strategic. An MBA can help you move a few crucial steps in the right direction, from the competitive to the strategic level. E.g. - I have a friend who worked a few years as a Communications Specialist at a middle-sized company, with an annual pay of $50K. Post her MBA, she got back into the same role, but was promoted in a few months. In a couple of years, she was the Communications Director for an MNC, earning $100K upwards. How did she do it? Well, for starters, she was a smart girl who delivered results. Additionally, it helped that she networked during and after her MBA. An MBA helps you think and act strategically at the individual and organizational levels.

 

That said, here are some truths about the post-MBA experience, from the perspective of a top 50 MBA grad:

 

1. Function and Industry. You will either be able to - change both (exceptional cases only), change one (30% of the time), change none (60% or more). Most of the exceptional cases belong in the top 10 MBA bracket. It helps greatly to have a specialization in your MBA - finance/ HR/ supply chain/ etc. Remember, there are people - just like you - who've chosen specialized degrees (CPA/ corporate finance/ HR management/ etc.) and they stand a better chance than you do, for a particular function. How to leverage your MBA? Get your foot in the door (and that is generally enough to get ahead).  

 

2. Hard skills. An MBA will not give you these. At best, you will gain theoretical (theory + case studies) and some practical knowledge (projects + internships). You will not metamorphosize into a total 100% 'golden child' package with everything the best companies are seeking. The best companies want the brightest and the most motivated from the top 10 programs only. All the other grads have to negotiate the job scenario. For those who wish to change function/industry, an internship is usually the way forward. (Sometimes, it will be - as in my case - an unpaid internship...in which case, if you are a mom with children who wants to spend her summers with them, saying 'yes' will be a problem despite only stray job offers).

 

3. Networking. This will help you find opportunities, but not recommendations per se. This will also help you learn about an industry via informational interviews, but it will not give you a job. Is networking useful? From the information acquisition perspective...yes. Note - I am referring to networking strictly from the professional point of view. Will you get die-hard friends (that you can trust) from your MBA? Maybe one or two. I think that's a great number, given the competition, politics, and general tendency to 'align' into groupies around the very obviously 'socially and materially successful'.

 

4. Timing. Timing your MBA is crucial to the nth degree. Why? Well, let's say you are in your mid-20s when you decide upon an MBA. Generally, at this age, most folks will have worked a few years in their first jobs, in a particular industry (let's say - as a supply chain specialist in a SME). Post the MBA, in his/her late 20s, the supply chain specialist will be able to move upwards into a more complex and challenging capacity - a managerial role generally. In his/her 30s, the same person will be cementing his/her career to move into middle/top management...thus reaping the full advantage of the MBA. Timing is crucial because companies are more open to hiring the young and motivated. They want to catch you young and watch you grow. This would not work if you were in your mid-late 30s.

 

For the mid-late 30s MBA grad, changing one's function would be relevant, not the industry. An older MBA grad could also benefit from utilizing the MBA as a second career degree (moi, par example) - to move into research and tertiary level teaching.  

 

As for those in their 40s and 50s, I believe they are doing an MBA purely out of a love for the subject. The objective here is the knowledge seeking. I can't really see a career move to be made at this stage.  

 

5. Loans. This hinges upon your age. If you are in your 20s, go for it! Take the loan. If you are graduating from a top 10 b-school, chances are you will be able to pay off the loan within 3 years. If not, it will take longer, depending upon your other life plans (getting married, buying a home, having a baby, to name some of the most common that will slow down your loan repayment).

 

If you are 30 years and older:

a. ask your company to pay for your program,

b. pay for the program yourself (use your savings/investments, ask your parents/ spouse/ siblings/ community for help)

c. ask your b-school for a scholarship waiving a certain percentage of your tuition based upon your GMAT scores and overall application,

d. get a scholarship from some other source.

 

Keeping your loan repayment amounts low is absolutely essential as there is every possibility you might not be hired immediately upon graduation...especially in this economy.

 

Hope this post helps wannabe MBAs out there...

Idealism is Not the Preserve of the Rich

When I philosophize about life and ideals and so on (which is, very often), my friend likes to bring me down to earth by pointing out that it is all very well to talk of morals, ideals, and principles while one is living a cushy life (actually, I would like to contest the 'cushy life' point as well...maybe another day). In a nutshell, according to my friend, morality and ideals are the privilege of the materially sated.

 

I disagree.

 

My friend is forgetting that the greatest ideologues of the world come from Mao's China and Marx's Europe. The most fervent of these comrades were poor, but in fact there were also those who were born rich and who spurned their inheritance in favor of a higher vision (E.g. - Tolstoy). Therefore, to say that wealth begets a fierce idealism is not true.

 

In fact, the meeting of almost all of one's material needs tends to make one forget about ideals. Too much comfort and wealth leads to sluggishness and smugness. Today, I'm not sure if over-consumption and materialism even consider ideals and principles in the face of 'materially sound' arguments for even more wealth accumulation.

 

There is a Hindi film song from the 1970s that goes, "Thoda hai thode ki zaroorat hai" - that roughly translates as "we have a little, and a little is all we need". I think this is a good philosophy to adopt - to live within one's means. I suppose I am a very old-fashioned person.

Therefore, when I hear Hindi film songs from the 1970s and 80s, I can't help feeling sentimental over the sweet earnestness with which Indians built their lives during this period, in between the Emergency and its belt-tightening during the 1970s and the later aggressively growing open market of the 2000s. During this time, I think almost all Indians - across economic classes - lived with a certain spareness. The unbridled splurging was kept for the most special event in one's life - the great big Indian wedding lol!  

 

But coming back to my friend's statement...to say that only the rich can afford to moralize is very dangerous and downright irresponsible because it places values (which can't be bought) into the hands of a few, and denies the lesser wealthy masses the right to choose those very ideals. In a sense, this is akin to saying that it is alright to do just about anything to get ahead in the game towards getting rich because until one acquires wealth, values don't really mean a thing. How sad is that?

 

I believe there is a need for a change in perspective. I believe that it would help a poor man to adopt ideals and principles because these would help him on the road to self development and a fulfilled life, whether or not it be a wealthy one. Getting into the rat race doesn't necessarily mean one is going to hit the jackpot, does it? So, what happens then? 

 

On the flip side, history has proven that Marxism is not a long-term solution. Ideology by itself may be perfect, but since it is exercised by human beings there is every chance of admitting imperfection due to human failings. Ironically, the very ideology that was meant to develop a person's strengths is more often (than not) corrupted by the same.

 

For instance, there are innumerable examples of party officials enjoying flamboyant lifestyles or exhibiting inhumanity during trials, in complete opposition to their doctrines. There are also well known examples of how a communist or socialist state develops in leaps and bounds once free market reforms have been adopted, never to look back (China and India's recent 10% and 6% growth, respectively).

 

At the end of the day, one wonders about ideals. All kinds of states and economies - whether in the short or long term - employ them to define vision and direction at all levels. In addition, history has also proven that the human spirit values freedom of thought, expression and creativity (hence the collapse of communism).

 

Apparently, through all this drive towards advancement at the individual, local, and global level, there is something - more than material gain - that brings happiness to us all. And it doesn't have a price.