Happy Mother's Day!

Picture this - you are under the Chicago El tracks, waiting for the car ahead to move, while mentally keeping your fingers crossed that the lights won't change.

The car ahead finally zips forth and you follow, high-fiving yourself on just being able to make it...when BAM! A car smashes in from the left, careens forward, and squishes you against the concrete El pillar to your right.

There's no time to react. You are in a rollercoaster going sideways, with sharp jerks and the smell of burning rubber.

In microseconds, the front and back airbags blow up, you bang your skull on your seat beat handle, you live in the moment, you cringe against the next blow. Your sturdy minivan is totaled.

Through the blur, the traffic police arrive and some roadside touts help you out, asking if you need towing and taxi services. You can barely hear them above the El thundering overhead at intervals. Everything seems to be shuddering anxiously. You hope the tracks won't collapse. You just thank God that you are alive.

So, that was my husband in an accident last month. It was God's grace that he escaped with only minor injuries and some shock.

It was truly God's grace that our kids weren't in the car. They were at the Chicago Art Institute with me, whining about going to the restroom, being hungry, being tired...while Picasso's special exhibits silently awaited, all cubes and angles, along with Horace Pippin, George Bellows, Georgia O'Keefe, Alfred Stieglitz, Marsden Hartley, etc...(Dare I say it was Picasso's grace that my children were saved? Who knows, perhaps Minerva had been smiling down at me)...

This incident changed my perspective by 180 degrees.

Following my 2012 MBA, I was deep into my job hunt. I was ready to work in the City of the Big Shoulders even though it is a 2 hour drive away. For the right pay, it certainly seemed right.

Now, I realize as I grow older that money is just money - it pays the bills and a few other things...it can make some dreams come true...but it's not everything. It makes no sense to put family on hold just to earn a fat pay packet 2 hours away. I can make my own opportunities right where I live. I can study further. I can teach. I can sketch. I can write. I will not be the first mom to have done this. There is a job out there - a good and right job - with my name on it and it is for me and me alone.

As one moves into one's late 30s, it dawns that chasing the material has limited rewards. Life is difficult, competitive, and lonesome as it is - and therein lies the value of one's spouse and children. They bring in the light, the laughter, the hope, and the reassurance that all's well despite the trip-ups, the fumbling and the bumbling. Responsibilities and trials are easier to bear when someone is holding your hand. Problems are forgotten or are made lighter with one happy hug and a kiss. The grime of office politics sloughs away with a cuddling session and giggles. Your family is your wealth.

Life is so fragile. Enjoy it everyday! Enjoy it whether there is sun, rain, snow! Every aspect is a shade of the rainbow of life. As Dale Carnegie once said, "When you wake up in the morning, you have a choice - you can either choose to be happy or to be sad." 

I may sound like a Pollyanna, but I will still say this on Mother's Day because often as women, we succumb and curl up to constructs, tropes, expectations, judgments thrown carelessly or spitefully about...

Go out there, make friends, enjoy the difference of each and every individual who is a creation of God. You may not like everyone, and you may not click with everyone, but try nevertheless dammit! Live your life with a PASSION! Don't wait for the perfect moment - the perfect moment is NOW. Savor and cherish what you have. Love your children. Give them a never ending river of love as long as you live. Protect them. Care for them. Cook and clean for them. Kiss their boo boos, clean their noses, bums. Cut their nails. Feed them with your hands when they refuse to sit still and eat. Hold them close and tell them you love them everyday. Enjoy your husbands. Love them spiritually and physically. Be sexy. Claim them between your legs and breasts and arms and with your mouths. Keep them safe and happy. Watch funny movies. Make funny movies. Laugh if you find something funny, even though nobody else gets it. Learn new things - a musical instrument, a sport, a language. Luxuriate in your beauty. Pray that you are surrounded by positive minded individuals with positive intent. It doesn't matter how many genuine extended family members or friends you can count on. You may have many, or you may have only a few. Make your choice and keep moving ahead in the journey of life. Life is a train journey where different people get on and off at different stations. Cherish them, give to them, and learn from them. Just don't get bogged down by them. Keep the baggage light, no matter the trauma. If someone has been bloody disrespectful, or is playing games, or is generally pissing you off with ignorance/inverted pride/insecurity/gossip and you can't deal with it anymore, just keep them out of your life. Don't waste your life trying to win arguments with blockheads. Just live and lead by example. Don't live to prove anything to anyone. Savor the affection your well wishers give you, and return it as well.

Life is a wonderful gift. It's sitting right there within reach, and it has no price tag in $$$. Go out there. Grab it! Enjoy it! You are the craftsman. Make what you can of it and make the best of it. NOW.