Four Americans in Chennai - or 'Madras', as They Knew it

The first is the infamous Elihu Yale (1649 - 1721), who was born in Boston, MA. As a child, he moved with his father to England, where he joined the British East India Company at the age of 16. He worked his way up, and was appointed the Second Governor of Fort St.George in Madraspatnam. He played a major role in developing the Government General Hospital within the Fort. His is the first marriage recorded in the historic St. Mary’s Church (built within the Fort) to the widow Catherine Hymners, in 1680.

Elihu Yale as Second Governor of Madraspatnam

Yale earned himself a name as an unpopular official. The East India Company discovered that he’d made a fortune via secret contracts with local merchants, flouting the settlement's British laws. He was found to have amassed lands secretly, arrested and hung people in his own kangaroo court – and therefore was told to leave the company on charges of corruption. Characteristically, he simply shrugged off this colorful record as a small price to pay for worldly gains, and he retired very comfortably to his English country estates in 1692. 

 

The philanthropist in him emerged (for whatever reason...tax evasion perhaps) upon his generous donation to the Collegiate School in Connecticut. It was renamed Yale College, in his honor. We know it today as the Ivy League Yale University.
 

Yale died in London, and was buried in St.Giles' Church in Wrexham, Wales. His tombstone reads:

Born in America, in Europe bred

 In Africa travell'd and in Asia wed

                          Where long he liv'd and thriv'd; In London dead...

(And so on. It's googleable.)

  

The tombstone has since been stolen from England and displayed at the ‘Tomb’ of Yale's Skull and Bones Society (where Elihu Yale no doubt feels compelled to make an entry now and then).

 

Wikipedia states that in 1999, the 'American Heritage' magazine rated Elihu Yale the "most overrated philanthropist" in American history, arguing that the Yale University was successful largely because of the generosity of a man named Jeremiah Dummer. Apparently, the trustees of the school did not (for obvious reasons) want it known by the name 'Dummer College' (although they might well have, going by the record of one of its unforgettable graduates who was given the privilege of leading the world's most powerful nation).

The second is Colonel Henry Steele Olcott (1832 - 1907), born in Orange, NJ. After his education at the City College of NY and at Columbia University, Colonel Olcott had a varied career as a military officer, writer, theosophist, and as a lawyer. He is said to have fought in the American Civil War, and to have assisted in the investigation of President Lincoln's assassination. How cool is that! Towards middle age, he felt persuaded to accept and explore his psychic side, thus converting to Buddhism, helping develop the Spiritualist movement in America, and founding the Theosophical Society in New York with Madame Blavatsky's help.

Colonel Olcott

Remember, this was the time of Emerson, Thoreau, and Walt Whitman - artists and Transcendentalists who were enamored of Indian Hindu philosophy and religion. It was also the time of Louisa May Alcott (the 'Little Women' series), Susan Coolidge (the 'What Katy Did' series), and Emily Dickinson of Amherst (the poet). Old New York was fading away, and the boom of industrialism was erecting skyscrapers over the old mansions...

Well, Colonel Olcott decided it was all too much for him, and moved the headquarters of his Society to Adyar, Madras, with the help of Madame Blavatsky and Annie Besant. He seems to have enjoyed his time there as he threw himself into the establishment of the Adyar Library and Research Center, today a much sought after resource by Sanskrit and Indology students. He translated Buddhist, Zoroastrian and Hindu texts so that Americans could read their correct versions and not the many 'interpretations' that were being passed around. After his passing in Madras, his rare collection of books was assimilated by the library and are preserved today by the University of Chicago.

Colonel Olcott (right), with Charles Leadbeater and Annie Besant, at the Madras Theosophical Society, 1905 

There is an Olcott Memorial High School for the poor, opposite the Theosophical Society, that offers free education, uniforms, books, and 2 square meals a day to the underprivileged children of Madras. I had the honor of conducting creative writing classes there, for Grade 5 students...long ago in 1999 :).

The third is my favorite - film director Ellis R. Duncan (1909 - 2001) - known as 'Dungan' by the cinemaniacs of Tamil Nadu who turned Duncan's sharp 'C' into a thick 'G'. This guy, born in Ohio, was among the first 'Cinema Studies' batch of the USC. He visited India at the invitation of his friend and classmate Manik Lal Tandon of Bombay (now Mumbai), and stayed for 15 years. He brought excellent cinematography, narrative technique, glamor, and daring depiction of subjects (well, mostly love scenes) to Tamil cinema between 1935 and 1950. I like this guy because, well, he's an artist. He also has that Cab Calloway 'pencil' moustache that was considered dashing back then (seriously!). But somehow, he seems to have carried it off.

Duncan (center), directing M.K.Thyagaraja Bagavathar and M.R.Santhanalakshmi in 'Ambikapathi', 1937

Tandon helped him secure the opportunity to direct ‘Sathi Leelavathi’, that was also the first film of Tamil Nadu’s future Chief Minister M.G.Ramachandran. For mythical films that needed to be shot in temples, Duncan posed as a Kashmiri Pundit (Brahmin) and walked right in! See, another reason why I like this guy - he's resourceful.

Duncan directed 14 Tamil films and 1 Hindi film between 1935 and 1950. One of his memorable box office hits was 'Shakuntala' (1940), starring popular singers G.N.Balasubramaniam and M.S.Subbulakshmi.

The rather feminine 'hero' photo center, with the 'heroine' to the right. Ponmudi, 1950

In 1950 came his fall. Pushing the envelope where lovey-dovey scenes were concerned earned him the disapproval of the rather Victorian Madras. As the picture above reveals, Duncan is encouraging the 'hero' and 'heroine' (Narasimha Bharathi and Madhuri Devi) to edge a little too close for the comfort of an audience that was used to associating rich visual/verbal symbolism and music with intimate scenes - a pair of flowers meeting mid-stream, for instance, or a bush shaking violently (!). You get the drift.

Following public reaction to ‘scandalous’ intimate scenes in Ponmudi, Duncan returned, chastened, to the USA and quietly settled down in Wheeling, WV. He started ‘Ellis Dungan Productions’ and stuck to documentaries over the next 30 years.

The fourth and last American to consistently make the headlines is Romulus Whitaker (1943 - ), founder of the Madras Snake and Crocodile Parks in Guindy and Mahabalipuram, respectively. He is a world famous - ok, less commercialized than Steve Irwin - herpetologist and conservationist based in Madras for the last 40 years or more. He has authored several books and filmed award-winning documentaries on Indian reptiles (and is yet to discover my in-laws).


Whitaker and his King Cobra (I mean, literally, for all you jokesters out there)

Born in New York, Whitaker travelled to India when his mother married Rama Chattopadhyaya, a pioneering Bollywood color film processor, from a family of award winning poets, film makers, politicians, and freedom fighters. He attended the elite Kodaikanal International School, and studied Wildlife Management at Pacific Western University, U.S.A.

A talented family, Whitaker's stepbrother Neelkanth is a Bollywood musician and filmmaker, while his sons, Nikhil and Samir are wildlife managers, conservationists, and wildlife columnists in India today.

Whitaker is known for giving back to the community. Back in the 1970s when members of the Irula tribe were facing destitution due to the lack of educational and work opportunities, he employed them to harvest snake venom for anti-venom drugs. This utilized the skills of the Irula who had traditionally made their living as snake catchers, and also kept their skills alive. Whitaker also routinely conducted the Olive Ridley turtle walks on Eliot's beach. The Ridley turtles were dying out and these walks garnered them much attention and life saving funds. Whitaker has also generously donated towards research on the Indian King Cobra.

In fact, his conservation efforts were so successful that the Crocodile Park suffered from over-population in the 1980s, with newspapers reporting that in addition to harvesting croc leather, croc meat and eggs were also being sold! I'm sure Chennaites can imagine the stir such information would have caused :)...even among Velu's Military Hotel types.

A naturalized Indian citizen, Whitaker lives with his wife Janaki Lenin (writer, 'My Husband and Other Animals') on a farm in suburban Chennai, and continues his rich contribution to conservation in India.  

Energy and Self-Fulfilment

Quantum Physics tells us that the universe is composed of energy. In other words, everything is made of energy - you and me included. The same theory has been put forth in Vedic philosophy, Qigong, and Reiki. What could not once be proven by Western science has come to be accepted by the same today.

 

I am a great believer in the theory that our bio-magnetic fields attract and repel other people based on their similarity or difference. Therefore, positive energy would attract positive-minded people, and a certain bent of mind would attract another like-minded person.

 

Has this ever happened to you? You might be sitting quietly at a party...and someone will walk up to you and start a conversation. Most likely it will be a person with a personality that gels with yours. It might even be that as you walk through life, you connect with some people slowly but surely, your network works to helps you achieve self-fulfillment, and the pieces of life's puzzle fall into place.

 

Please note that I didn't cite examples such as someone walking up to you and making unnecessary conversation when you are alone outdoors, at a mall parking lot/park/store/bookshop...trusting a stranger would be plain dangerous. Perceiving relationship-building in terms of energy fields calls for the usual amount of caution.

 

It is also true that our energy develops or stagnates depending upon our response to life's challenges. Just as the Hermit crab wrestles with his shell when he outgrows it, so also tight situations require one to respond proactively, and to thus grow.

 

Therefore, you might notice that old friends, whom you thought would stick with you for life, do not respond as before. It might have so happened that you and your old friend have grown at different paces, and therefore do not 'click' perfectly as you once did. Who knows? Perhaps you may meet 20 years from now, and observe happily that you gel once more!

 

Think positive. The destination is the same, but the routes we take are diverse. Again, it depends on how we respond to the directions. I believe some folks never do reach the destination. Is that why Vedic philosophy speaks of rebirth? It's worth thinking about...

 

Yesterday evening, my husband and I were fortunate to have met an enlightened person (Psst, we hope some of his positive energy rubs off on us!). He had some wonderful insights to share about Mother Teresa and her talk at Harvard University on June 9, to the class of 1982. One of the points was her observation that life in India may be difficult on many levels, but that life endures because of the plain simple affection and love within the community there. They make do with and appreciate what they have and just try to get on.

 

Well, as an Indian who grew up in India I must mention here that we did so because - rich or poor - we really had no choice, and then of course, one always tried to see the brighter side, as we still do.  

 

Even today, life in India calls for putting up with power cuts and water shortages in residential areas. Indians deal with it because they know that it is the government's way of conserving resources and making do with what is available (for now, let's not venture into corruption, redirecting resources for God knows what purposes, etc., etc...)

For example, during the tsunami of 2004, the Indian government relied entirely upon its own resources to recover, and did not take a pie from other countries. To quote another example, India has not taken sides in any conflict since 1947, and steadfastly remains non-aligned, unlike some of its neighbors who - greedy for material wealth, and lazy to work hard and earn it - have sold themselves and are now suffering great misfortune and unrest. They make life worse for themselves by attacking India scurrilously. No doubt the laws of the universe will teach them the right path.

 

But to return to Mother Teresa - she then went on to speak of the poverty of the spirit in materially rich countries and the importance of sharing with those less fortunate. Note that  she does not promote helping freeloaders or those who think that life consists of free lunches. She is referring to teaching a person how to fish and to pay it forward. To offer help and dignity, not just for charity or the 'hidden' purposes of religious propaganda. 

 

Another person - similar to Mother Teresa - is the American Father Richard Frechette, whom I was lucky to meet. He has dedicated himself to making a difference in the lives of orphaned Haitians since the earthquake of 2012. He began with one small orphanage that has grown to 4, and that sustains itself both on donations and its own cottage industry. Although a large audience had collected to hear his words, Father Frechette was most humble and retiring, almost unwilling to capitalize on his good deeds. Maybe he correctly feared that his good cause might attract 'predatory' assistance that would harm his children. He did not even ask for financial assistance, but just spoke simply, hoping to awaken similar noble intentions among his listeners.

 

Global business has much to learn from the words and deeds of such leaders. Sustainability, leadership, corporate social responsibility, diversity, effective cross cultural communications, strategy, conflict management - all have a place in today's global business. Dr. Deepak Chopra, Anthony Robbins, Norman Vincent Peale, Dr. Joseph Murphy are some leaders who connect self-fulfillment with positive energy and visualization. At the same time, we know that business management is about not only value but profit as well.

 

If each person could key into the positive living propounded by these leaders, and if businesses could support a work-life balance, and give back to every community around the globe (where they have established their operations), perhaps it might help heal countries faster, promote peace and innovation, and boost investment and knowledge returns (E.g. - GE's 'reverse innovation').

 

I insist upon individual leadership and good citizenship because while global businesses are doing all of the above, it is being practiced only superficially, to satisfy some legal requirements. Observing the results of the chase for profit alone, research is now being conducted to determine whether pure Capitalism has a conscience. I believe placing this question in the context of the challenge of any hegemon's role would be more appropriate. 

Therefore, the importance of personal commitment. In this Global Political Economy where politics and media are controlled by corporates, there exists an ever present need for conscientious leadership. Just as politicians are made by the vote of the common man, so also big businesses can be made answerable to the vote of their own organizations.

 

This is already taking place thanks to the information age - the consumer force is pushing back and forcing corporates to design their products as per their needs (E.g - credit cards in the USA). The day will come when the global citizenry will question global business to strategize for the good of the world. I hope I can be of service to humanity in the move towards this enlightenment.

The Beat of the Daanish

During my recent trip to my beautiful, diverse, warm and affectionate India, someone described me as being very 'Daanish'. This was not surprising to me because I am very much a product of secular India.

 

My mother, my family, and my school reinforced India's pledge in me -

 

India is my country and all Indians are my brothers and sisters.

I love my country and I am proud of its rich and varied heritage.

I shall always strive to be worthy of it.

I shall give my parents, teachers and all elders respect and treat everyone with courtesy.

To my country and my people, I pledge my devotion. In their well-being and prosperity alone, lies my happiness.

 

They were disappointed when I chose to leave India, and did not join the I.A.S. as many of them had expected. I think I just needed to break free from control and expectations for a while. Life tested me severely after I had left, but it was part of my evolution as a human being. I am happy where I am and hope to keep moving towards my personal and career goals.

 

What is Daanish? The word refers to a secular person who gleans the core values and principles of all faiths as a means of attaining enlightenment. Lofty aim, no doubt.

 

As per Vedic astrology, I am still in the 'Dharma' cycle of life, not 'Moksha' - so I'm not sure about enlightenment itself. However, I believe my dharma is to be a good human being for this is what all faiths teach us. So many prophets have been sent to earth with the aim of guiding humanity towards spiritual evolution. And not just religious leaders - how about Emerson, Thoreau, Walt Whitman, Dylan Thomas, Keats, Coleridge, Shelley, Blake, Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, the Blues singers, Yann Martel, Ang Lee, Peter Weir, Paolo Coelho, Tagore, Gandhi, Mandela, Mother Teresa, Achebe, and so on? 

Still, humanity grasps and fights, demeans its faiths, pits countries against one another in the chase for profits...what have we learnt? Nothing much, really. Sometimes, I wonder if we are witnessing reverse Darwinism - the survival of the stupidest due to sheer might in all countries, cultures, and communities. Of course, I myself may be stupid in making this observation. Please forgive my limited perception.

 

As per the internet, 'Daanish' is defined as - "Knowledge and wisdom. The deep inner urge to inspire others in a higher cause, and to share their own strongly held views on spiritual matters. Idealistic, highly imaginative, intuitive, and spiritual. Seeking after spiritual truth and often finding it. Visionary. If potential is not developed, there is a tendency to daydream and misuse power (ahem)."

 

Obviously, my hope and prayer is to fulfill my spiritual potential 100%. As I was telling my husband, we are here on this earth for only a blink in the universe of time. Why not utilize that little time in spreading positive energy and doing good for humanity? We all have a choice, don't we? Immortality, as Shelley rightly observed in his 'Ozymandius', is not to be found in the material but in the happiness and love one leaves behind. I'm sure my MBA classmates will snigger at this. Their skepticism and inauthentic living is precisely the reason why Ivy Leagues all over the world are exploring Leadership, Peace, Conflict Management, and People Development.

 

So, having been described this way, I was disappointed to receive a rejection letter for my poem entitled 'In Your Name', based on the rather facile Bible Belt America interpretation that it was a religious poem, simply because it contained the word 'piety'! If the reviewers had rejected my poem saying it was plain crap, I would have accepted their judgment as I myself feel it fails on some counts. But to say it is religious??? Seriously! It was an insult.

 

You know, being Daanish has its minus points. Firstly, I am viewed distastefully by my own fellow Muslims for having a mind of my own. Secondly, my words are misunderstood by Americans who interpret them as propaganda. Really, I thought the US would be very cosmopolitan but it seems I am being strictly defined in black and white terms more than ever! It is indeed true that walking the middle path is very lonesome.

 

Just to set the record straight - my poem is not about the surface meaning of the word 'piety', ok? Someone said that a poem is like an iceberg. We only see its tip - about 5%. A poem hints at the 95% that is underwater. Likewise, the piety and devotion I glorify have nothing to do with organized religion. 

 

My idea of piety and devotion has everything to do with love. The love of between 2 people, the love of a child for his/her parent, the love of a mother for her child, the love between a merciful and just ruler and his/her subjects, between a teacher and his/her students, between a human and his/her pet, between a student and his/her subject. And so on. What is more noble than such love?

 

As an American friend (an ex-monk from a Wisconsin Catholic monastery) and I were discussing, perhaps this kind of love - that fosters life and affection, and is based on trust, kindness, and loyalty - is God, Allah, the Brahman/Atman, by whichever name we know Him...or Her. God is love. Those who think that success is attained by grabbing, through competition of the fittest (or the sneakiest), or by bullying others, are acting out of fear and insecurity. They are choosing to devolve.

 

Well, I explained my poem to the editors in question, and surprise, surprise, it was finally printed.

 

There are 2 things that I make of this - either my poem was so bad that it required me to provide an explanation (and therefore did not deserve to be published)...or...that the editors were pretty shortsighted themselves...or perhaps just plain hemmed in by their own shortsighted audience.

 

And so we walk on...

Everyday Heroes

Every now and then, there comes a time (cue suspenseful background music)...when we are called to rise to the need of the moment...and at that time, you have perfect catches like this:

http://in.screen.yahoo.com/man-saves-kid-falling-off-040000550.html

A clip about a naughty boy riding the escalator on its rim (what a thrill, right?), scrabbling at the top, and dropping into the arms of an attentive shopper/retailer.

Lucky kid.

Mr. Nice Guy :).

Happy Mother's Day!

Picture this - you are under the Chicago El tracks, waiting for the car ahead to move, while mentally keeping your fingers crossed that the lights won't change.

The car ahead finally zips forth and you follow, high-fiving yourself on just being able to make it...when BAM! A car smashes in from the left, careens forward, and squishes you against the concrete El pillar to your right.

There's no time to react. You are in a rollercoaster going sideways, with sharp jerks and the smell of burning rubber.

In microseconds, the front and back airbags blow up, you bang your skull on your seat beat handle, you live in the moment, you cringe against the next blow. Your sturdy minivan is totaled.

Through the blur, the traffic police arrive and some roadside touts help you out, asking if you need towing and taxi services. You can barely hear them above the El thundering overhead at intervals. Everything seems to be shuddering anxiously. You hope the tracks won't collapse. You just thank God that you are alive.

So, that was my husband in an accident last month. It was God's grace that he escaped with only minor injuries and some shock.

It was truly God's grace that our kids weren't in the car. They were at the Chicago Art Institute with me, whining about going to the restroom, being hungry, being tired...while Picasso's special exhibits silently awaited, all cubes and angles, along with Horace Pippin, George Bellows, Georgia O'Keefe, Alfred Stieglitz, Marsden Hartley, etc...(Dare I say it was Picasso's grace that my children were saved? Who knows, perhaps Minerva had been smiling down at me)...

This incident changed my perspective by 180 degrees.

Following my 2012 MBA, I was deep into my job hunt. I was ready to work in the City of the Big Shoulders even though it is a 2 hour drive away. For the right pay, it certainly seemed right.

Now, I realize as I grow older that money is just money - it pays the bills and a few other things...it can make some dreams come true...but it's not everything. It makes no sense to put family on hold just to earn a fat pay packet 2 hours away. I can make my own opportunities right where I live. I can study further. I can teach. I can sketch. I can write. I will not be the first mom to have done this. There is a job out there - a good and right job - with my name on it and it is for me and me alone.

As one moves into one's late 30s, it dawns that chasing the material has limited rewards. Life is difficult, competitive, and lonesome as it is - and therein lies the value of one's spouse and children. They bring in the light, the laughter, the hope, and the reassurance that all's well despite the trip-ups, the fumbling and the bumbling. Responsibilities and trials are easier to bear when someone is holding your hand. Problems are forgotten or are made lighter with one happy hug and a kiss. The grime of office politics sloughs away with a cuddling session and giggles. Your family is your wealth.

Life is so fragile. Enjoy it everyday! Enjoy it whether there is sun, rain, snow! Every aspect is a shade of the rainbow of life. As Dale Carnegie once said, "When you wake up in the morning, you have a choice - you can either choose to be happy or to be sad." 

I may sound like a Pollyanna, but I will still say this on Mother's Day because often as women, we succumb and curl up to constructs, tropes, expectations, judgments thrown carelessly or spitefully about...

Go out there, make friends, enjoy the difference of each and every individual who is a creation of God. You may not like everyone, and you may not click with everyone, but try nevertheless dammit! Live your life with a PASSION! Don't wait for the perfect moment - the perfect moment is NOW. Savor and cherish what you have. Love your children. Give them a never ending river of love as long as you live. Protect them. Care for them. Cook and clean for them. Kiss their boo boos, clean their noses, bums. Cut their nails. Feed them with your hands when they refuse to sit still and eat. Hold them close and tell them you love them everyday. Enjoy your husbands. Love them spiritually and physically. Be sexy. Claim them between your legs and breasts and arms and with your mouths. Keep them safe and happy. Watch funny movies. Make funny movies. Laugh if you find something funny, even though nobody else gets it. Learn new things - a musical instrument, a sport, a language. Luxuriate in your beauty. Pray that you are surrounded by positive minded individuals with positive intent. It doesn't matter how many genuine extended family members or friends you can count on. You may have many, or you may have only a few. Make your choice and keep moving ahead in the journey of life. Life is a train journey where different people get on and off at different stations. Cherish them, give to them, and learn from them. Just don't get bogged down by them. Keep the baggage light, no matter the trauma. If someone has been bloody disrespectful, or is playing games, or is generally pissing you off with ignorance/inverted pride/insecurity/gossip and you can't deal with it anymore, just keep them out of your life. Don't waste your life trying to win arguments with blockheads. Just live and lead by example. Don't live to prove anything to anyone. Savor the affection your well wishers give you, and return it as well.

Life is a wonderful gift. It's sitting right there within reach, and it has no price tag in $$$. Go out there. Grab it! Enjoy it! You are the craftsman. Make what you can of it and make the best of it. NOW.

My Stressbusters (Bless 'Em!)

                  I had started this blog with the intent of recording all the cute stuff my sons say...before this blog became a multi-colored journal of sorts with just about any genre making its appearance...(most of it confessional!).

                  Since I've been away for so long (job hunting), I thought I'd swing by to say hello. I haven't had any luck in finding a break, so far, but I've learnt a bit about the job hunt, people, HR and sales-speak, and so on...It is still very worth it to hear those - "Thank you for submitting your resume! We have reviewed your skills and find you a very strong candidate. However...(!)" - words, if only to steel oneself and try again.

                  I look at it this way - God has a plan for me, and He knows where I'll best fit in, or what I need to know to get to the right destination. After thrashing about in a pool wildly, I've settled down, and I'm letting my faith guide me. Serenity.

                  So, here is where a daily dose of cuteness helps. Really, I don't know how my friends deal with stress when there are no loving, affectionate, joyful children to go home to...because to be honest, my children are my saving grace - both in terms of 'saving' me from falling into despair by helping me see the brighter side and staying young....(how blessed the First Mate and I are to have them, these bouncy, active, giggly - occasionally infuriating - little boys!)...as well as 'saving' me by making me a better person.

                  They're the perfect stress busters :).

                  Here are some of the things they say...

                 The American (all of 3 years), looking deep in thought at his puzzle piece, "Hmmm, where do YOU go? You're a green mystery!"

                 The Singapore Singaran on his new classmate, "Well, I don't know her very well, but I like her last name - 'Cornish'. It makes me hungry."

                 An interesting conversation we were having a teatime the other day...

Me - "You'll have to remember all this because you are growing up and becoming a big boy. Do you know why?"

Singapore Singaran - "...Is it because you won't be around?"

Me - "What makes you say that?"

Singapore Singaran - "Because you'll be dead?"

Me - (huh?)

                 Apparently, in our home, the jokes never end.

I Loved You First

On Valentine's Day...

 

 

Poca favilla gran fiamma seconda. – Dante

Ogni altra cosa, ogni pensier va fore,

E sol ivi con voi rimansi amore. – Petrarca
 

I loved you first: but afterwards your love

Outsoaring mine, sang such a loftier song

As drowned the friendly cooings of my dove.

Which owes the other most? my love was long,

And yours one moment seemed to wax more strong;

I loved and guessed at you, you construed me

And loved me for what might or might not be –

Nay, weights and measures do us both a wrong.

For verily love knows not ‘mine’ or ‘thine;’

With separate ‘I’ and ‘thou’ free love has done,

For one is both and both are one in love:

Rich love knows nought of ‘thine that is not mine;’

Both have the strength and both the length thereof,

Both of us, of the love which makes us one.

 

 

- Christina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)